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jl GU{"id":10776,"date":"2019-01-10T18:54:47","date_gmt":"2019-01-10T16:54:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/?p=10776"},"modified":"2019-01-10T18:54:57","modified_gmt":"2019-01-10T16:54:57","slug":"el-guvid-ea-funfara-militara","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/el-guvid-ea-funfara-militara\/","title":{"rendered":"El guvid, ea funfar\u0103 militar\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

El arat\u0103 ca un\nguvid. E gras, m\u0103mos \u0219i plin de el. Tot timpul. Mai ales c\u00e2nd are impresia c\u0103 e\ndoar el \u00een toat\u0103 marea de pro\u0219ti. \u0218i c\u00e2nd nu se crede mai altfel dec\u00e2t toat\u0103\nlumea, doarme. S\u0103 se refac\u0103 pentru a se crede din nou. \u0218i c\u00e2nd se re\u00eenvie el,\nca un guvid gras \u0219i mumos ce e, redevine el. Totul e el \u0219i totul se \u00eenv\u00e2rte \u00een\njurul lui. Restul lumii, pentru el, \u00eenseamn\u0103 doar el.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ea, e ca o funfar\u0103 militar\u0103. \u021a\u0103c\u0103ne\u0219te toat\u0103 ziua la trombon. Nu-i ies notele pe care le vrea, dar insist\u0103, c\u0103 poate o aude \u0219i pe ea cineva. Mai doarme \u0219i ea, din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd. \u00cen rest doar guvide\u0219te. C\u0103 a\u0219a-i la guvizi. Nu dormi, nu plesc\u0103ie\u0219ti, nu faci bulbuci, nu te b\u0103l\u0103ce\u0219ti. Guvide\u0219ti. Doar guvide\u0219ti. C\u0103 d-aia te-ai guvidit. Mai funf\u0103re\u0219te ea, c\u00e2teodat\u0103. Dar slab, cu tonuri joase, c\u0103 guvidul \u0219ef e tot guvid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd, guvizii se \u00eempreuneaz\u0103, ca guvizii. Adic\u0103 se ating pe cozi, se privesc \u00een oglinzi (c\u0103 nu se pot privi \u00een ochi) \u0219i ejaculeaz\u0103 guvizei. Apoi dorm pentru a-\u0219i reface fabricile cu guvido\u0219i care fabric\u0103 guvizei.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i tot a\u0219a. \u0218i guvidind ei a\u0219a, trec zile \u0219i nop\u021bi, trec ani. Via\u021ba merge \u00eenainte \u0219i guvidul se r\u0103sp\u00e2nde\u0219te prin lume. Lumea nu prea-i \u00een\u021belege. Unii le spune, uneori, c\u0103-s ur\u00e2\u021bi. Ei ne se cred ur\u00e2\u021bi, ei se cred frumo\u0219i.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Uneori, el guvide\u0219te despre zei, mnez\u0103i \u0219i preasfin\u021bi ferici\u021bi. Ea, cuminte ca o guvid\u0103 sf\u00e2nt\u0103 care este ea, tace \u0219i ascult\u0103. El se crede minunat \u0219i ea zice foarte bine, dragul meu guvid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd, vin guvizii \u0103ia b\u0103tr\u00e2ni \u0219i-i aliniaz\u0103. Le verific\u0103 guvideniile, dunga de la cozi, plec\u0103ciunile \u0219i smereniile. Dup\u0103 revizia s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2nal\u0103 toat\u0103 lumea o ia de la cap\u0103t. Guvidit \u0219i guvizenii. Toat\u0103 lumea e mul\u021bumit\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Uneori, guvizii no\u0219tri ies la mol. Acolo fiecare are rolul lui. Nimeni nu mi\u0219c\u0103-n front f\u0103r\u0103 acordul guvidului \u0219ef, care e el.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i \u00een familia guvizilor no\u0219tri, ca s\u0103 o \u0219ti\u021bi \u0219i pe asta, totul se face la modul prioritar. Dac\u0103 moare m\u00e2\u021ba \u0219i nu era trecut\u0103 pe lista cu priorit\u0103\u021bi e numai vina ei. Ea trebuia s\u0103 se \u00eenscrie pe list\u0103. Nu s-a \u00eenscris? Moarte bun\u0103, c\u0103cat \u00een strai\u021b\u0103. Tura viitoare s\u0103 fie mai atent\u0103. Nu te joci cu regulile guvidului, c\u0103 guvidul nu se joac\u0103. Vrei s\u0103 te \u0219tergi la fundule\u021b? Bine, e\u0219ti pe lista cu priorit\u0103\u021bi? Nu e\u0219ti? Atunci stai cu c\u0103c\u0103\u021belul guvidit la fundule\u021b \u0219i a\u0219teapt\u0103-\u021bi r\u00e2ndul. P\u0103i, ce, voiai s\u0103 te bagi \u00een fa\u021b\u0103?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i mai fain\u0103 e treaba la guvizi atunci c\u00e2nd vine vorba de sintagma \u201ddoar eu\u201d. Doar eu<\/em> exist\u0103 doar pentru guvid, guvida sau guvizeii n-au dreptul s\u0103 doar eu<\/em>. Eu au dreptul s\u0103 doar ei<\/em>, \u0219i doar ei<\/em> \u00eenseamn\u0103 mucles, c\u0103 doar eu<\/em>. Dac\u0103 \u00eendr\u0103zne\u0219ti s\u0103 \u0219i tu ai dreptul <\/strong><\/em>ai sfeclito, c\u0103 nici doar tu<\/strong><\/em> nu vei mai avea dreptul s\u0103 fii timp de un an de zile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i tot a\u0219a.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

El arat\u0103 ca un guvid. E gras, m\u0103mos \u0219i plin de el. Tot timpul. Mai ales c\u00e2nd are impresia c\u0103 e doar el \u00een toat\u0103 marea de pro\u0219ti. \u0218i c\u00e2nd nu se crede mai altfel dec\u00e2t toat\u0103 lumea, doarme. S\u0103 se refac\u0103 pentru a se crede din nou. \u0218i c\u00e2nd se re\u00eenvie el, ca un […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10777,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[200],"tags":[446,231,1072],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nEl guvid, ea funfar\u0103 militar\u0103 - Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/el-guvid-ea-funfara-militara\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"ro_RO\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"El guvid, ea funfar\u0103 militar\u0103 - Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"El arat\u0103 ca un guvid. E gras, m\u0103mos \u0219i plin de el. Tot timpul. Mai ales c\u00e2nd are impresia c\u0103 e doar el \u00een toat\u0103 marea de pro\u0219ti. \u0218i c\u00e2nd nu se crede mai altfel dec\u00e2t toat\u0103 lumea, doarme. 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