\u00cenainte s\u0103 \u00eencep s\u0103 \u00eenjur \u0219i s\u0103 conjur, \u0219i s\u0103 vorbesc ur\u00e2t despre Alpha Bankuri, ba nu te-n cur, turce\u0219te vorovind, o s\u0103 z\u00e2c c\u0103-mi curge apa pe la furtunul de la chiuvet\u0103 \u0219i c\u0103 nu m\u0103 doare nici \u00een pul\u0103 de b\u0103ncile care \u00eencep cu alpha bankuri. Dar hai s\u0103-\u021bi spun o poveste cu bankuri turce\u0219ti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Io, ca ciobanul, cu masc\u0103 \u0219i fes pe cap, m\u0103 v\u00e2r la Alpha Banka. Acilea. Pe Dacia, \u00een Hunedoara, unica agen\u021bie cu fufe, sc\u00e2rbite de joia so\u021bului cu slujbe prelungite. \u0218i chiar m\u0103 bag.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Prima reac\u021bie, una brunet\u0103, vopsit\u0103 (o \u0219tiu, am avut \u0219i eu c\u00e2teva pe la facultate care sugeau pula sub(t) acoperire) \u0219i erau sub(t) acoperire:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
M\u0103 pune una pe scaun. Stau. Zice, ce dori\u021bi? Un card bancar, pentru mama. Aduce-\u021bi mama. P\u0103i e cu demen\u021b\u0103. Atunci veni\u021bi cu o procur\u0103 de la notar, c\u0103 ea nu \u0219tie ce semneaz\u0103. Bine, zic. La notar \u0219tie ce semneaz\u0103? T\u00e2mpite. T\u00e2mpi\u021bi. \u0218i-am plecat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
M-am \u00eentors. Cu procur\u0103, de la notar, cu responsabilitatea unui notar \u00een c\u00e2rc\u0103. \u00cen\u021belegi? Am revenit, doamn\u0103, zic. Vreau un cont de card. Da, \u00eemi amintesc, zice, cocota, dar dureaz\u0103 cam o lun\u0103 s\u0103 se aprobe deschiderea contului de card.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
…..<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Poftim? Zic \u0219i io! S-o n\u0103pustit luna peste venus de vorbe\u0219ti a\u0219a ur\u00e2t cu mine, fat\u0103?! Nu, domnule, p\u00e2n\u0103 la o lun\u0103 s\u0103 se aprobe \u0219i o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 s\u0103 deschidem contul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u0218i mi-o crescut. P\u0103i \u00eemi mor \u0219i mamele din celelalte vie\u021bi p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd \u00eemi deschide\u021bi voi un cont, s\u0103 moar\u0103 to\u021bi \u021b\u00e2n\u021barii din casa sc\u0103rii mele \u0219i de la geamurile pe care le \u021bin deschise, fat\u0103, h\u0103i, tu te auzi? Mama are 88 de ani \u0219i demen\u021ba nu se retrage. Tu \u0219i cite\u0219ti, uneori, pe la banc\u0103? Sau la tine banc\u0103 \u00eenseamn\u0103 aia din fa\u021ba blocului \u0219i \u0219eful care e turc \u0219i \u021bi-o spus c\u0103 banc\u0103-i aia \u00een care te refugiezi c\u00e2nd e\u0219ti proast\u0103 \u0219i nu ai unde s\u0103 r\u00e2g\u00e2i prostie?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Am terminat. Nu, niciodat\u0103, banca alpha, e de c\u0103cat. Se cac\u0103 pe tine. E liber\u0103 tot timpul. De ce? N-au clien\u021bi, au fraieri. Pe mine nu m-au prins. Feti\u021b\u0103, scump\u0103 feti\u021b\u0103, so\u021bie a unui om cu drept de vot, stai acas\u0103, c\u00e2nd m\u0103 vezi. C\u00e2nd \u00eenv\u00e2rteam miliarde tu spuneai c\u0103 mam\u0103 barbi srot. Am copii, t\u00e2mpito, dimine\u021ba \u00een custodie, \u00eei hr\u0103nesc cu drag pe to\u021bi. Tu, o \u021ba\u021b\u0103, plin\u0103 de tine, de c\u0103cat \u0219i de chilo\u021bi nu scapi, plin\u0103 e\u0219ti zilnic, te zb\u00e2rle\u0219ti, nici logic\u0103 nu ai. La copii c\u00e2nd le spui mar\u0219, cum le spui?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Partea a doua<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Draga mea, proast\u0103, care e\u0219ti. Sunt un b\u0103iat civilizat. Am citit noaptea c\u00e2nd tu nici nu existai. Acum \u00eemi hr\u0103nesc p\u0103rin\u021bii. \u00cemi iubesc prietenii, iubita \u0219i sfin\u021bii. Nu \u0219tii, vac\u0103 cu cur mare (\u0219i at\u00e2t), s\u0103 te compor\u021bi cu ai t\u0103i. Dac\u0103 moare m\u0103-ta nu mai \u0219tii ce s\u0103 faci. Dac\u0103 te duc \u00een Siberia te caci pe tine \u0219i \u00ee\u021bi m\u0103n\u00e2nci m\u00e2inile, proasto. La banc\u0103 nu e\u0219ti la parada cururilor. \u00cemi b\u00e2gam pula \u00een curul t\u0103u, dar n-o fac. \u0218tii tu de ce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Partea a treia<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At\u00e2t. Te-ai prins? Am gre\u0219it undeva. S\u0103 v\u0103d dac\u0103 te prinzi p\u00e2n\u0103 mori.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00cenainte s\u0103 \u00eencep s\u0103 \u00eenjur \u0219i s\u0103 conjur, \u0219i s\u0103 vorbesc ur\u00e2t despre Alpha Bankuri, ba nu te-n cur, turce\u0219te vorovind, o s\u0103 z\u00e2c c\u0103-mi curge apa pe la furtunul de la chiuvet\u0103 \u0219i c\u0103 nu m\u0103 doare nici \u00een pul\u0103 de b\u0103ncile care \u00eencep cu alpha bankuri. Dar hai s\u0103-\u021bi spun o poveste cu […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9221,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[210,200,864],"tags":[865],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\n