Nu credeam c\u0103 o s\u0103 ajung s\u0103 vreau s\u0103 eliberez o musc\u0103 din frigider. Ur\u0103sc musca \u0219i \u021b\u00e2n\u021barul cu b\u00e2t\u0103 de beisbol, de mesteac\u0103n, de mor\u021bii m\u0103-sii, cu lopata, cu palma, cu toat\u0103 fiin\u021ba mea. La fel \u0219i cu \u021b\u00e2n\u021barul. Nu m\u0103 repet, c\u0103-mi bag pula \u00een ea de c\u0103ldur\u0103. \u0218i acum, \u0219i dup-aia, c\u00e2nd scriu acum, pe cuv\u00e2ntul meu c\u0103 m\u0103 enerveaz\u0103 fix o musc\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
N-apuc s\u0103 v\u0103d un episod din serialul preferat c\u0103 se na\u0219te o musc\u0103, s\u0103 face nemernica adult\u0103 \u0219i \u00eencepe s\u0103 m\u0103 enerveze. S\u0103 enerveze. B\u0103-b\u0103iatule, zici c\u0103 le cre\u0219te mnez\u0103u \u00een batjocur\u0103, la mi\u0219to. D\u0103 cu steroizi \u0219i dracul, cred \u0219i deja ie \u00eenv\u00e2rteal\u0103 cu linghi\u0219pir. Mu\u0219te s\u0103 fie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
N-apuci s\u0103 respiri de dou\u0103 ori, la a treia remu\u0219care c\u0103 deoarece de ce ai respirat apare o musc\u0103. Apare o musc\u0103. Habar n-ai dac\u0103-s diverse, femele sau maneli\u0219ti, ie mu\u0219te. \u00ce\u021bi fu\u021bi femeia. Zic. Dac\u0103 desigur. Penetrezi pe jum\u0103tate, aproape pe jum\u0103tate. Apare o musc\u0103. Dac\u0103 nu apare o musc\u0103, vine o \u021b\u00e2n\u021b\u0103roaic\u0103, c\u0103 \u021b\u00e2n\u021barii ie pro\u0219ti, ei nu mu\u0219c\u0103, nu sug, pardon, iei doar b\u00e2z\u00e2ie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sco\u021bi mu\u0219tele din cas\u0103. Pui lipici cu benzi, dai cu deteteu, ie\u0219i afar\u0103 \u0219i din cas\u0103. No! Pula! Frate, bro, apare o musc\u0103. Asta armat\u0103! \u0102sta soldat. Ce, pula mea, pu\u0219ca\u0219 marin, terestru, silvestru \u0219i Eminescu?! Rahat cu perje! Musca e for\u021ba. Albine? C\u0103cat, mu\u0219te s\u0103 fie, c\u0103 dac\u0103 ie mu\u0219te \u00eenc\u0103 ne enerv\u0103m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Cum pula mea s\u0103 intre o musc\u0103 \u00een frigider? Ce \u0219anse ai s\u0103 introduci de bun\u0103voie o musc\u0103 \u00een frigider? Bun, cum sco\u021bi o musc\u0103 din frigider? Aveam halva \u0219i firimituri de p\u00e2ine. \u0218i cartofi. \u0218i ghimbir. \u0218i at\u00e2t. Deci, mu\u0219tele ie vegetariene? Aveam \u0219i vinete, am uitat, f\u0103r\u0103 maionez\u0103, c\u0103 ou\u0103le… piula mea, le-o m\u00e2ncat Dan Sp\u0103taru. Bine, \u0219tiu, cade grea faza cu piula mea. E cu ou\u0103 umplute cu ficat de porc mort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
S\u0103 revin la musca din frigiderul meu. Deci, am eliberat o musc\u0103 din frigider. Frigiderul meu ie alb. Le place la mu\u0219te frigiderul alb?! Iele cred c\u0103 nu au habar c\u0103 dac\u0103 frigiderul ie frigider negru sau urs polar. Bine, nici ursul polar nu \u0219tie c\u0103 iel nu e alb, ci negru. Nu \u0219tiu mul\u021bi. De\u0219tepte mu\u0219tele astea. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Acum \u00een\u021belegi de ce le ur\u0103sc? Io pe ele. Nu mai \u0219tiu ce pula mea am vrut s\u0103 iau din frigider \u0219i deschid iar frigiderul. Desigur. To\u021bi greierii c\u00e2ntau anapoda c\u00e2nd io am deschis frigiderul, iar. \u0218i am deschid, desigur, frigiderul. U\u0219a de la frigider. Desigur, \u00een momentul \u0103la o ap\u0103rut o musc\u0103 care o intrat \u00een frigider. Am \u00eenchis musca \u00een frigider, fericit, \u0219i am plecat \u00eenspre vastele mele leptopuri. N-am mai vrut ceva din frigider. Asta-i cu invers. Scuze.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bun, \u0219i revin, totu\u0219i, la frigider, a treia zi dup\u0103 scripturi, c\u0103 tre s\u0103 m\u00e2nc \u0219i io ceva, c\u0103 dac\u0103 m-am trezit iar\u0103\u0219i viu. Ce f\u0103cea musca aia \u00een frigider? Zbura! Cred c\u0103 se sim\u021bea prin Alaska. Avea \u0219i sanie. Am stat cu u\u0219a de la frigider deschis\u0103. Nu voia s\u0103 ias\u0103. Musca aia. Alaska, bro. Am scos musca cu for\u021ba. N-am strigat c\u0103 s\u0103 pr\u0103v\u0103leau ghe\u021barii peste musca mea. Io m\u0103 b\u0103team cu o musc\u0103 prin frigider, Cezar cred c\u0103 o zis c\u0103 pleac\u0103 el la Zam dac\u0103 nu m\u0103 ia \u0103\u0219tia dup\u0103 ce zboar\u0103 la dracu musca aia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At\u00e2t. Am eliberat musca din frigider \u0219i acum m\u0103 b\u00e2z\u00e2ie c\u0103 deoarece scriu despre ea. \u0218i la final, z\u00e2c \u0219i io, ai observat c\u0103 oamenii nu se mai suport\u0103 unul pe altul? De la mu\u0219te. Dac\u0103 zici ceva, altcineva o s\u0103 fie \u00eempotriva ta, cu vorba, \u00een principiu, vehement, c\u0103, deoarece, c\u0103 de ce s\u0103 tu, c\u0103 pula \u0219i pizda lor. A\u0219a-i \u0219i cu musca \u0219i \u021b\u00e2n\u021barul. Pula, c\u0103 cic\u0103 musca \u0219i \u021b\u00e2n\u021barul ie meniul preferat a lu p\u0103ianjen. Bine, ia-le, \u00een piula ta odat\u0103, p\u0103ianjen care e\u0219ti!!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Nu credeam c\u0103 o s\u0103 ajung s\u0103 vreau s\u0103 eliberez o musc\u0103 din frigider. Ur\u0103sc musca \u0219i \u021b\u00e2n\u021barul cu b\u00e2t\u0103 de beisbol, de mesteac\u0103n, de mor\u021bii m\u0103-sii, cu lopata, cu palma, cu toat\u0103 fiin\u021ba mea. La fel \u0219i cu \u021b\u00e2n\u021barul. Nu m\u0103 repet, c\u0103-mi bag pula \u00een ea de c\u0103ldur\u0103. \u0218i acum, \u0219i dup-aia, c\u00e2nd […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":11697,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[483,768,88],"tags":[231],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\n