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Px LU{"id":13464,"date":"2024-03-07T21:15:04","date_gmt":"2024-03-07T19:15:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/?p=13464"},"modified":"2024-03-07T21:15:10","modified_gmt":"2024-03-07T19:15:10","slug":"primaria-sector-1-cu-clotilde-pula-internet-pula-paza","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/primaria-sector-1-cu-clotilde-pula-internet-pula-paza\/","title":{"rendered":"Prim\u0103ria sector 1, cu Clotilde, pula internet, pula paz\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Din cauz\u0103 c\u0103-s peneli\u0219ti \u0219i pesedi\u0219ti prin zon\u0103, Clotilde \u00ee\u021bi serve\u0219te asta, de zici c\u0103-i prim\u0103ria lu m\u0103-sa: de 8 martie, din pul\u0103 internet, din pul\u0103 paz\u0103. C\u0103 cic\u0103 pesede \u0219i penele o luat bani de la buget \u0219i le-o dat la aservi\u021bii lui fericitul \u0219i preaferitul neamului, (D)haniel sf\u00e2ntul, sfin\u021bitul la mitropolia neamului la care nu ajungi c\u0103-s multe pramatii, cu facult\u0103\u021bi de popi a\u021bipite tot de preaap\u0103ratul, p\u0103 deal, prin poart\u0103, care stau cu jalbele \u00een pul\u0103 la pro\u021bap. Ce c\u0103cat de diplom\u0103 de licen\u021b\u0103 s\u0103-\u0219i ia to\u021bi studen\u021bii de la popi? Cu ce tem\u0103?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Io n-am treab\u0103 cu Clotilde. Nici m\u0103car nu-i genul meu. Nici cu pesedeii \u0219i peneli\u0219tii. Io am o problem\u0103 acum cu tradusul acestui fapt: Clotilda \u00eenchide prim\u0103ria, taie netul, deschide birou de \u00eenregistrat pro\u0219ti pe Kiseleff \u0219i se d\u0103 \u00een spectacol pe twitter, c\u0103, mno, ie prim\u0103ri\u021b\u0103, vorba \u0103luia. Ie primar, bolovane, nu s\u0103 exist\u0103 prim\u0103ri\u021b\u0103. Dar astai (cu i desp\u0103r\u021bit de asta) alt\u0103 poveste. Ca s\u0103 fie bine s\u0103 nu m\u0103 acuzi c\u0103 m\u0103 dor din\u021bii de la cafea. Apoi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unu, bani de la bugetul neamului, mul\u021bi, oricum, se duc, constant, spre \u0219leahta popilor \u0219i a oilor lor. C\u0103 vrei sau nu. \u0102ia oricum te fut cum vor ei. O catedral\u0103 a neamului din banii babuinilor oricum se construie\u0219te, c\u0103 vrea Clotilde sau nu. Ia cu pit\u0103 \u201dcatedrala\u201d lui Arsenie Boca. Apropos, pe c\u00e2nd catedrala Arsenie?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Doi, penele \u0219i pesede o fute iar de-amiaz\u0103, la Gala\u021bi \u0219i tulcea d\u0103 rusul cu droanele de-\u021bi vin buc\u0103\u021bi de fer \u00een cap (curg tancuri \u0219i taburi prin Rom\u00e2nia) \u0219i tu vrei s\u0103-l instalezi iar pe Ciolacul f\u0103r\u0103 vin\u0103, care, s\u0103racul, o fost trezit brusc, \u0219i pe preaplecatul nostru Ohanis, odisee f\u0103r\u0103 cap\u0103t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trei, Clotilde, la prea sf\u00e2ntul Daniel se duc mul\u021bi bani, nu doar de la tine, de la prim\u0103ria ta, care-i oricum a neamului, \u00een principiu. \u0102la (\u0219i sforarii de dinaintea lui), Daniel \u0219i preadresorii, de fapt, cristocelul neamului, omul care \u0219tie \u0219i c\u0103 te ungi cu crem\u0103 de t\u00e2mpit, el \u00eemparte bugetul acestei \u021b\u0103ri, de c\u00e2nd a murit Antonescu, \u0219i mai apoi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Patru, f\u0103r\u0103 internet, Clotilde, nefunc\u021bionarii t\u0103i \u00ee\u0219i scriu prin cuget\u0103ri \u0219i arhaisme, de\u0219tep\u021bii lu tata. Iei ie de\u0219tep\u021bi. Iei ie de la prim\u0103rie, iei ie de la bugetari, iei sunt smecheri. N-au net primatele alea care nu \u0219tiu ce-i aia buton pe tasta 1 de pe leptop? Clotildo, salveaz\u0103 omenirea din sectorul unu. Moare lumea din sectorul unul f\u0103r\u0103 internet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5, Clotilde, s\u0103 opre\u0219ti servicii publice, \u00eemi pare de curaj extrem \u0219i te admir \u0219i m\u0103 \u00eenclin. Dar cum dracu informezi tu fiecare cet\u0103\u021bean care te-o votat c\u0103 tu \u00eenchizi prim\u0103ria, nu \u0219tiu. \u0218i cum dracu deschizi tu biroul de registratur\u0103 prin Kiseleff, iar nu \u0219tiu. \u0218i cum dracu \u00eenchizi tu prim\u0103ria iar nu \u0219tiu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218ase, bravo, fat\u0103. Ai coaie mari? C\u0103 nu pari coioas\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Din cauz\u0103 c\u0103-s peneli\u0219ti \u0219i pesedi\u0219ti prin zon\u0103, Clotilde \u00ee\u021bi serve\u0219te asta, de zici c\u0103-i prim\u0103ria lu m\u0103-sa: de 8 martie, din pul\u0103 internet, din pul\u0103 paz\u0103. C\u0103 cic\u0103 pesede \u0219i penele o luat bani de la buget \u0219i le-o dat la aservi\u021bii lui fericitul \u0219i preaferitul neamului, (D)haniel sf\u00e2ntul, sfin\u021bitul la mitropolia neamului la […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12034,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[483,200],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nPrim\u0103ria sector 1, cu Clotilde, pula internet, pula paz\u0103 - Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/primaria-sector-1-cu-clotilde-pula-internet-pula-paza\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"ro_RO\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Prim\u0103ria sector 1, cu Clotilde, pula internet, pula paz\u0103 - Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Din cauz\u0103 c\u0103-s peneli\u0219ti \u0219i pesedi\u0219ti prin zon\u0103, Clotilde \u00ee\u021bi serve\u0219te asta, de zici c\u0103-i prim\u0103ria lu m\u0103-sa: de 8 martie, din pul\u0103 internet, din pul\u0103 paz\u0103. 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B\u0103h. Mai du-te-n pula mea cu pandemia pizdii \u0219i cu arafa\u021bii pulii mele! Ne fute\u021bi pe fa\u021b\u0103???? 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A\u021bi \u00eenchis pie\u021be cu babe, dar pe caunflagi\u0219ti, lid\u0103li\u0219ti \u0219i peni\u0219ti i-a\u021bi uitat, v\u0103 plac, firea\u021bi ale dracului de cutre. Dup\u0103 ora 21 se \u00eenchide nonstopul. 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Un mai bine. Dac\u0103 Ohanis, p\u0103storul golfist al patriei noastre, ini\u021bia \u0219i construia un purgatoriu legal, cu voturi pro \u0219i contra, aproape democratic, rom\u00e2nii, \u00eempr\u0103\u0219tia\u021bi aproape peste tot, cu tobe din vaci t\u0103iate pe la abatoarele Spaniei \u0219i Italiei, ar fi\u2026","rel":"","context":"\u00cen \u201eCretinoriale\u201d","block_context":{"text":"Cretinoriale","link":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/category\/cretinoriale\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/bufnita.jpg","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":11967,"url":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/neste-bio-de-ziua-combustibilului-cum-ie-iei-de-combustibil-scumpit-cu-orisicum\/","url_meta":{"origin":13464,"position":4},"title":"Ne\u0219te bio de ziua combustibilului, cum ie iei de combustibil scumpit cu ori\u0219icum","author":"Traian Urie\u015f","date":"11 martie 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Ioi, b\u0103\u0103h,, p\u0103h fuuutu-i, tulai, f\u0103, bre, auzi\u0219i, s\u0103 scumpir\u0103 carburan\u021bii, \u00een crucea m\u0103-sii de cretin! 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Ur\u0103sc musca \u0219i \u021b\u00e2n\u021barul cu b\u00e2t\u0103 de beisbol, de mesteac\u0103n, de mor\u021bii m\u0103-sii, cu lopata, cu palma, cu toat\u0103 fiin\u021ba mea. La fel \u0219i cu \u021b\u00e2n\u021barul. 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