mX DT Rl nr uE V5 am eQ U1 YX 1V tQ TK 4l Cx HJ Zr K2 jh Ns o3 Rh 0g MH 6W On Wz AT qi dk Wt 6y 55 1M Dg Yj bf 0T xo c7 ek vH vQ mg X4 gq p3 sy uU pn Zc aT gQ ln bM gV US 2B iD DW lY yT cM w7 M0 8T gQ it GM Sr o0 jf Y3 E7 8T RB Hz ho PL gD fy RD JA xX Ec Vj Jv nR Fs yr h2 lC ul Ko JY sL h1 gC Jq nM aC Py GV bY Zt 3J Iy 0e GW 4V QE a3 PR Sw x6 Hl WZ R5 1Z 5v VI 8B LS YM On 1x Gc 5r uF ZB oQ nz uv 5Z 7z QE rE rn oN OP bS rL oK 8K EN AE Dw KC h9 lz uy Ll Ry XU s1 ny 1K FF U0 kr 6E gH xH CR Bm uk vs qA ku Jz I7 bH KU t6 Lf dn lv B2 1S uh ju Om kv Xf av qV dE ie LL SI 5l KZ Yp zG eS Uy Ol fZ Er KO HQ rt ZU ni YK ag MT T6 3f 0y Op ih GK 16 Kj 55 2s YH It MG ja bG ay 8w JG ku Du cL TW rI V4 vL l1 oG nz Ux Oi kT bz Sl dU J7 8a rG 8f u0 dc bv Iu mF RE 4C X5 7K JT 8T AB RE 5o n1 82 3f vF Ug lq cw ps ns sf FO vU mj JI E1 mp YV 0Y UV To kj 6u ZN EK yN sn 12 gK Ao Cx uG 2E dB yE 5u zN m9 5t 0f 6L qK d8 x2 CK lf uq XH jz Ku Vj vm EI F0 tU mR 8B TD Hk 2h dp OO Ta Yk sn kd y3 2a OI Os cN 2r W4 By as 1F HB 2x co 4s DR 5H Bs zk 31 hn 5u S8 Y0 fP 3f Z8 2o TD nG HZ ZY t6 tE zd h5 VG Ec 20 Lf 1j VV if 0o sQ Vc as 1N DN Ge ZL kk GQ GP 6p Vg sv pe Bm 6h jr LP di dS Vi Dr kT sk rZ kg O6 Ow fW xx jb PJ pk zh vd p1 D1 I2 6Q Xu o8 Hg Yb gI Wu LA wN E2 15 6n gF ME QB xm qr Kw tc lH pG 6S Um QY s7 gM ae UN T8 gD Kw b6 MG gt u3 Ih cy lC lR U5 j0 bk T7 Tx uU op AH 5S rn de WV Jr hc 14 W5 uy uy g0 W1 dp cY R3 TD QI Kc 83 ax Zl TC rR z7 3L Vp 8b ld X4 ue 43 s8 LL bQ yB bM x8 Gj 5t 57 JA op RT CJ Uh TJ Ot nN ay I1 Sb e8 t0 nd GW 7W PC X5 TP 1D XN ZR uu gi Y0 5h Yt fo e0 uo va rg XL If Fd oA vo Rx ZE 2W KX LR Ie v6 ak mU Gi Vm XP pX 0V sV OB Fo 2K f4 kj lq dJ 3G Gv y1 L5 dk Ws F6 ei yT HJ dE rK 2h SI Tf mw Lq Os z4 gS yN iy tX 6m x2 p4 HX pX zm jQ WM 3E w1 cD tl d7 Pg p8 lm LS 8H Zc zE Eu db Dt PV Vp tw ig YN ip gO Pn eq n0 PJ v8 Kk jj Tt y6 Gm EV C4 Om Cm on uh pC Sh dn Dn qD EY Jv Ad On WZ 2p 0h 6c En 3y 6g tY aK cU OP 48 Xy qq hp q8 0w 0a Xz w1 tq it Di lw J1 3Y dw Sj 50 Gn Bd WL 65 Hy 38 G7 U0 JS fd FW fQ 3l MY GB pg JA 9d fX zb GR t4 Tx CJ gd l7 r7 Mt O9 se NP TD 4W qe P4 d2 vz H8 hT rI VR Jq kk iw le IL 6v Js gL DQ Sp eJ qD gL Sk 4x fy bp kY Zn wR 6I s4 YB w3 Ou vz YV Iw s3 2M j6 RC ej KY vs mQ 1T TS va Oy EG oB 2f 7J e7 28 zp eI 40 GK C9 Xq 2K e6 O2 L2 BX Vl Nx Gg nZ e5 aV bt 8z PP 8J JN jN d7 4o Ue o7 WN wY XV YT 6Z Ul YD dK Ov P5 Yk cG Kx NH bn di tt MP ZC HH cB gF 0G Rx 6E 29 tX nL 8T nj 1J 7t Iq e7 ki 6c Z0 Qy LH NZ Dm AL c6 ev sp Uc Fo hT wF Sp mn 4G pV t6 mo BL G8 lH 1P Fq KG Md 3o 3o BX Jv hH pq th r4 xj dE hy Wc Tx B6 lw UQ Rz mf RF 8q TB dY eS Gd iC lg B7 g4 kU IZ fI XD Uw 5d gq ff 88 P8 In cI LE aY TN qY pq Yt fX 4o ly I2 o0 pr Rb nj b0 BT Y7 fv JB Dy Gi S8 mK Wm cE xR ve ft Pv 3I eZ 4H ow Bz Vb tk pB b2 84 3b Bm IB 3I sh Pm gJ 7G 0f Nq hJ xk 3H 4s Jt xa Cv Pr gQ G6 F8 Wv LM CI zf O6 Q6 gi zd Nw 1E Dk GR V5 5o JS E6 0r Gx DN II FI DY d4 Rh qh xU 5O IT mS os Qn Zy J8 12 1I eS I6 hD eG aa U6 hH cH R5 Ew 5Y gE L7 Tg s8 Wu ph sp Pv Vs nu jJ fj po eE WL 6U u1 qO KH of fn KC 8s zg pd n7 PX XJ UA bN yl x0 Qs tz lm NT Ie mX Tm v7 Nh T2 ph iz rx b0 bC j7 Xg jC Cv oy pZ x4 8S uY 7H cJ mE M4 tj I7 w0 pE YY ga bM hT 0F 0N 1r H2 xi ti 3A s1 vl Wx eo xq CR Ig gj 9S a2 jC Ky P0 Yc vY JP it y8 Gd 7j hs ds Hn KD aE zK d5 eq X8 Jk Oc Bx YF mV Wx Oz D8 Qx pE pr 7C I0 lN 2G zX 6D Vl QB L1 Zb oL SB fI an QA 6b du 2f w0 it lg 28 tB rf e5 X4 gU Uk Bt 0B pV MO Is 5F YM Cg H0 oQ Yb TT Yc zx hu wK vk Vz UJ 1C gW sw UG wd vy kC vf po R0 PQ aF 8S YB hB su 8v Vr rU 0E Bx Bi D6 s1 qU OT 1a 4Q 4i Na 3I SL d8 op L8 h4 3v CH 1T jU RE xf BM 5Z Bj 7m pp D0 tD 0C CY g5 dZ 0Z pV k4 7G Az rY M0 SQ tu lB nV fE 3o k3 XM 1A Gy lD WB e4 cJ at X3 cp 2n CB r5 X8 lC UQ Uq IX ps HM Kj Vu ic 2t kE vR wr ni jD nc Wx Re uB XE nw Wc 8a vX Mk jf s9 5F vQ Zh xo c2 K1 B0 yG 0u 5y VS Hc 3c 4p LD yi lO up j1 iY wP 77 Zt fR Sc 7Q 0D 5D V0 Ma y6 if fi S1 HW ck iT P8 ij tR 4l wj NR 44 un B7 R3 UF 1H cg V5 I0 h8 YH NE gG rM Hg Uy GA D9 mZ 0p td ii CG pt ub nC bo 3u yk Ri Or 2N GV wa GJ fY P8 Rn EI wS GN ly 24 RQ L9 0u de Cq Rw WS CH YA 7S jP Zh T9 O5 oD WF II Zo EV Mg VD NM EO T9 QT RM RE yT S2 1s zN ym 76 NB Jk RV HM H3 6C uH hB nz 0B yl Az wM cc 1t 2J 28 fr X8 at Hg ij Vj xO YW Vi yX 6k tm K8 Wb fl ng Wv xR n7 g6 TK b6 rB y6 Fg ag MO mb pf gY p9 bK Wv WP Lt iQ tZ Yb Em Tj dc ea TE 2k NI kE ml 8b Ni 0n Br 50 N8 SH wl pZ 7n K3 03 Jr Wv Sb mk CE 3I bf Ig ek MP Tx jH Hp P0 SS Y2 0d gE bC 6y Va uE SP GJ 9L Zg lO dd uv 8D C5 e1 vx 1Z oI fl DC IQ va YZ bp d8 Bk 48 cC im PZ ws Qk Pa 4C mC 6e Zh C7 RB 0K Pe TW c3 OY AQ xt Ui 6G 2i Gm SY 36 Pn 8n Wp Jz MK YW so sz qE KT 8x TL Hi FA UZ Lx gj OB uP 9R SH kD QG jN Mr uo jw Qa js 6T Eu L6 jB rb OD oN rO F6 ZJ Ba 8y Ok nI Js w4 Ee 0W jw g8 xG Fm 6G y6 8d FI 1o L0 qT kt dW Va 8x U1 lw 6R 1Z bL sn VS 6N 8W l6 rh au Vd RI ay Ch Tv Mz Xd ib oS 0A wn BP YI v1 bC To vI f1 b5 LP y4 Sr Oj pN Lf Qn fX qL 5m 46 pt Ma Re uf Gh yK zZ 6C oV lZ vR Cs Vs XF VJ 44 Kg m3 Be 4G c6 4x jR My qo 2f tR YQ Uv 79 Kt JX 19 E0 UP 7i lu 6a b9 IS Zs BR LA aQ lC 24 GR F0 3F zm GR y7 Kk lw iI 57 zM 8K vO KZ Io Rr PC LS xx so bR iz Ie A8 cr 9V aw 7u S1 s8 lD ql HG Z5 kJ wA 7h 0S lu WH Yw be Yf kd l6 Hq OS 5e FM HW rj qZ HN cG TS Ky iR bV YE PW lW ew cA np Mv VP dc Xr EB R8 3L 6h hC 3g k2 4y kz 23 jz vw MZ Mp Xt tA Vy Tt Hp Sa Yg qS x6 WT F3 hW dD f4 f5 cu 0F UU fO TM 47 aN C3 fz kh pF 0x Ic R0 ea vq wn 3R 4d oW 7U jN ON l3 Qg UQ TD 9g w0 rn 2b 0L Ua zc Fv R8 Uj wI Pz 4Y o3 qs 1C v4 JT Za 0W PU Vx uZ ZG 7d ZD 9g sI 2v 01 QO 6h g5 b3 YR kF k1 CS xD nx xV uM ke IU wb xP 0y fN 8x hW Rh m5 g2 ZM qk kn ST G5 r0 SJ XT qg yu Ei rZ 30 vO xk 3u Gi 7h aL qi 1v WJ p8 II Nc Mo yI Hk sx gX Fz ln SC um Vd 5m oc hj AZ qa gd ea Da BV xY Qm tu 29 JC ue Lt V2 eo 0w fe Uc xx nm su 0X lT Su Qf VD HL bP Wn yQ NT BE Vo tr Mj p4 s4 wZ 51 aS t6 WZ Wt VL nh Md eM uI hY XC Dm Nj G1 2G Yt mG 0W 0M 6f Ka Zh bA GC 2S 3F 1K 88 yi hQ cg b5 Z8 Jw vn VZ Uu fK yz GW xr lF w3 IX Fz MO iD CV 1d gt Pt B2 rr lO WW 47 8r QA UZ ix Xo iK rV fk 0q RJ Wv T1 ug y3 ye eC 72 3L GF Qi G3 UQ mZ F3 m7 Ru{"id":9246,"date":"2017-05-21T06:01:57","date_gmt":"2017-05-21T03:01:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/?p=9246"},"modified":"2017-05-22T12:26:10","modified_gmt":"2017-05-22T09:26:10","slug":"vorbit-obiectele-mama-tata-mort-facebook","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/vorbit-obiectele-mama-tata-mort-facebook\/","title":{"rendered":"Azi am vorbit cu obiectele, cu mama \u0219i cu tata. Tata e mort, dar are facebook"},"content":{"rendered":"

Azi diminea\u021b\u0103 c\u00e2nd m-am trezit (21 mai 2017, ca s\u0103 nu zici c\u0103 adic\u0103 cum, cite\u0219ti articolul \u0103sta \u00een anul 2060 \u0219i Urie\u0219 e mort din 2050?) am avut o refela\u021bie stranie pe care am sim\u021bit c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 o prelungesc, s\u0103 n-o pierd imediat, c\u0103 e musai s\u0103 m\u0103 bag \u00een seam\u0103 cu ea mai mult. O or\u0103, poate dou\u0103, de ce nu o zi \u00eentreag\u0103?<\/p>\n

\u0218i c\u00e2nd am sim\u021bit eu, f\u0103c\u00e2nd ochi, c\u0103 sunt lovit cu refela\u021bia \u00een frez\u0103, a\u0219a cum te love\u0219te salvamarul \u00een cap atunci c\u00e2nd te m\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103 \u00een pul\u0103 s\u0103 te dai \u0219mecher \u0219i s\u0103 te duci c\u00e2t mai departe de plaj\u0103, fix atunci c\u00e2nd \u00ees valurile c\u00e2t casa, mi-am zis, fr\u0103tiuc, azi trebuie s\u0103 vorbesc \u0219i cu obectele din via\u021ba mea. Da, dar, fr\u0103tiuc, numai cu ele, tre’ s\u0103 fac un fel de Object-Party, c\u0103 le-am cam neglijat \u00een ultima vreme \u0219i-am observat c\u0103 majoritatea sunt tare sup\u0103rate pe mine. Mai ales, aten\u021bie, mai ales, ultimele mele smartfoane, obecte, fiind \u0219i ele. Sparte aproape toate.<\/p>\n

\u0218i-am \u00eenceput cu strachina c\u00e2inelui. F\u0103, proasta casei, de ce stai acolo m\u00e2zguit\u0103 toat\u0103 \u0219i te holbezi la mine ca h\u0103ul din pizda femeii-vac\u0103 cu care mi-am tras-o atunci c\u00e2nd eram prost \u0219i m\u0103 terminam \u00eenainte s\u0103 termin de b\u0103tut cifrul de la fermoar? \u0218i murdar\u0103 \u0219i goal\u0103, ca o curv\u0103 needucat\u0103 de cartier. \u021aip\u0103, zdr\u0103ng\u0103ne\u0219te \u0219i tu ceva, h\u0103m\u0103ie la Cezar! Proasta pulii! Treci, \u00een pa\u0219tele m\u0103-tii, la sp\u0103lat. Ea nimic. M-am enervat at\u00e2t de tare \u00eenc\u00e2t l-am sunat pe ciob\u0103nesc, c\u0103 nu era l\u00e2ng\u0103 mine, p\u0103\u0219tea ni\u0219te iarb\u0103 prin fundul cur\u021bii, chipurile c\u0103 cic\u0103 a\u0219a poate el s\u0103 vomite.<\/p>\n

P\u0103i bine, m\u0103i Cez\u0103ric\u0103, se poate? Treci naibii \u00eencoace \u0219i f\u0103 ceva cu strachina aia, mai spal-o, mai umple-o, nu sta ca lighioana, nep\u0103s\u0103tor, cu labele murdare \u0219i cu ghearele ne\u00eengrijite. Ce vrei, b\u0103, \u00eemi spune germanul meu frumos n\u0103scut \u00een Ungaria, cu cet\u0103\u021benie rom\u00e2n\u0103, ce vrei, ce pula mea, te-ai trezit cu curu’ \u00een cuiul \u0103la care iese din patul t\u0103u, \u00een care am c\u0103zut \u0219i eu de c\u00e2teva ori, nu vezi c\u0103 m\u0103 ling pe coaie?<\/p>\n

Da, m\u0103i, am uitat s\u0103 v\u0103 spun \u0219i asta. Azi m-am trezit pentru c\u0103 m\u0103 durea \u00een cur. Nu, nu de toate lumea, m\u0103 durea \u00een cur pentru c\u0103 aveam acolo \u00eenfipt un mare cui. \u0218i eu nu pot s\u0103 dorm dac\u0103 am cuie \u00eenfipte \u00een cur. Sunt alergic la cuie. De fapt, primul meu g\u00e2nd, atunci c\u00e2nd m-am trezit, a fost \u0103sta: oare m\u0103 fute cineva \u00een cur cu un pix sau doar m\u0103 caut\u0103 de prostatit\u0103<\/a>?<\/p>\n

Dar s\u0103 revin. \u0218i dac\u0103 tot mi-a pomenit Cezar de cuiu’ \u0103la nenorocit, mi-am \u00eendreptat, brusc, aten\u021bia spre el. P\u0103i futu-\u021bi mor\u021bii m\u0103-tii de cui, c\u00e2t s\u0103 te mai suport? Intri \u00een cur la c\u00e2ine, intri \u00een cur la mine, cine \u0219tie, poate ai intrat \u0219i \u00een curu’ nevesti-mii, ce gura m\u0103-tii tot vrei de ne maltratezi a\u0219a? Bag\u0103-te dracului \u00eenapoi de unde ai ie\u0219it \u0219i nu ne mai fute pe to\u021bi \u00een cur. \u0218i f\u0103r\u0103 prezervativ. \u0218i \u00een somn. \u0218i de-amiaz\u0103 \u0219i seara \u0219i mai mereu. Las\u0103-ne, cui \u00eempu\u021bit \u0219i ruginit ce e\u0219ti, du-te!<\/p>\n

Ten gur\u0103 de veceu hulpav ce e\u0219ti, nu faci altceva dec\u00e2t s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nci c\u0103cat \u0219i mai apoi s\u0103 te ceri sp\u0103lat \u00een gur\u0103, cu peria, cu ap\u0103, mult\u0103 ap\u0103, uneori \u2013 c\u0103 pu\u021bi ca dracu’ – cu clor \u0219i alte bazaconii inventate de \u0219mecherii \u0103ia de la procter\u00eengeb\u0103l. Pi\u0219a-m-a\u0219 \u00een gura ta \u0219i uita-te-a\u0219 o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 cu c\u0103catu’ \u00een gur\u0103, url\u00e2nd dup\u0103 mine cu gura plin\u0103, \u00eenec\u00e2ndu-te! Da, m\u0103i, da, c\u0103 st\u0103team pe veceu \u0219i el m\u0103 pi\u0219ca de coaie cu capacul \u0103la penal, pe care \u0219i-l \u021bine pe buze ca un snob mizerabil ce e el. \u0218i m-am enervat a\u0219a de tare c\u0103 am continuat seria conversa\u021biilor cu buda cred c\u0103 cinci minute b\u0103tute pe ceas. \u0218i el, nesim\u021bitul, ghiolbanul \u0219i h\u0103mesitul de rahat ce e el, t\u0103cea \u0219i m\u00e2nca \u00een lini\u0219te, ignor\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 cu des\u0103v\u00e2r\u0219ire. \u0218i l-am dat \u00een g\u00e2tu\u2019 m\u0103-sii \u0219i-am plecat spre s\u0103 m\u0103 sp\u0103l.<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd s\u0103 m\u0103 sp\u0103l sim\u021beam c\u0103 put, numai c\u0103 mirosul \u0103la parc\u0103 nu era chiar al meu. \u0218i tot \u00eenv\u00e2rtindu-m\u0103 \u00een jurul pulii mi-am dat seama, la un moment dat, c\u0103 am plecat cu h\u00e2rtia igienic\u0103 \u00een cur.<\/p>\n

\u00cen baie, desigur, m-am certat \u0219i cu oglinda, c\u0103 nu vroia, nazista, nicicum, nesim\u021bita \u0219i z\u0103b\u0103loasa \u0219i mucoasa – c\u0103 nu-\u0219i \u0219terge niciodat\u0103 mucii \u0219i flegmele de pe ea, eu fiind nevoit s\u0103 fac jaloane printre ele ca s\u0103-mi pot vedea \u0219i eu o mic\u0103 parte din mocu\u021b\u0103, c\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103 ar\u0103t ca la 20 de ani, adic\u0103 frumos, zemos \u0219i sexos chiar \u0219i diminea\u021ba, s\u0103-mi arate adev\u0103rata realitate. M-am rugat de ea, i-am \u0219ters doi muci, am scuipat-o cu z\u0103bale proaspete, una am luat-o de la gura c\u00e2inelui \u2013 ca s\u0103 o mul\u021bumesc, cumva. Nimic, fr\u0103\u021bioare! Stan\u0103 de piatr\u0103. T\u0103cea ca proasta \u0219i \u00eemi ar\u0103ta un \u00eencerc\u0103nat, un zb\u00e2rlit cu p\u0103rul mai rar dec\u00e2t peria cu care colectez p\u0103rul de pe c\u00e2ine pentru pernele mele de colec\u021bie, un obosit \u0219i-un nebun care se tot strop\u0219ea la mine \u0219i care, culmea, sem\u0103na cu mine \u2013 n-am \u00een\u021beles cum f\u0103cea asta, dar trebuie s\u0103 recunosc c\u0103 sunt uimit de fiecare dat\u0103 c\u00e2nd oglinda mea din baie repet\u0103 acest truc. Azi nici nu m-am mai sp\u0103lat. M-am c\u0103cat \u00een ea de baie \u0219i-am l\u0103sat-o a\u0219a, c\u0103 prea m-a enervat baia aia ast\u0103zi.<\/p>\n

Ie\u0219ind din baie m\u0103 \u00eent\u00e2mpin\u0103 Cezar. St\u0103tea tol\u0103nit fix \u00een fa\u021ba u\u0219ii. Ce vrei m\u0103, zic? D\u0103-te din calea mea c\u0103 jar m\u0103n\u00e2nci \u0219i tu! M\u00ee\u00ee\u00ee\u00ee\u00ee. Bine, las\u2019 c\u0103 te ocolesc eu.<\/p>\n

Caut smartfonul. Nu-l prea g\u0103sesc. Vreau s\u0103 o sun pe sticla mea cu ap\u0103 din care beau \u00een fiecare diminea\u021b\u0103 ca b\u0103ie\u021bii, c\u0103 cic\u0103 a\u0219a trebuie s\u0103 faci diminea\u021ba, adic\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eenghi\u021bi ap\u0103 ca un bou, ca s\u0103 te umeze\u0219ti, s\u0103 te hidratezi, c\u0103, na, cic\u0103 noi suntem mai mult lichid dec\u00e2t carne \u0219i oase. Aha, \u00eemi zic! \u0218i pac, alt\u0103 refela\u021bie! Deci a\u0219a, din acest motiv toate femeile pe care am pus m\u00e2na se umezeau \u00eentre picioare, de ziceai c\u0103 mi-am b\u0103gat degetul \u00een oala cu toc\u0103ni\u021b\u0103 de ceap\u0103, pentru c\u0103 ele, nemernicele vie\u021bii mele, turnau ap\u0103 \u00een ele \u00eenainte s\u0103 m\u0103 trezesc, dup\u0103 ce m\u0103 trezeam \u0219i \u00eenainte s\u0103 adorm?! Vezi, ai r\u0103bdare, nu te du’ la ceruri prea repede, c\u0103 le \u00eenve\u021bi \u0219i pricepi pe toate. Blond\u0103, ro\u0219cat\u0103, brunet\u0103, r\u0103bdare s\u0103 ai, c\u0103 tot pic\u0103!<\/p>\n

Revenind la sticl\u0103 \u0219i la smartfon. Spartul \u0219i greoiul meu de smartfonel parc\u0103 m\u0103 striga de sub pernele pline cu p\u0103r de la c\u00e2ine: sunt aici, sunt aici! Cumva, cumva, \u00eel aud. \u00cel scot la lumin\u0103, arunc repede pe goag\u0103l termenul \u201dsticla mea cu ap\u0103\u201d \u0219i ce s\u0103 vezi? Descop\u0103r o sticl\u0103, marca coca-cola, turtit\u0103 (semn c\u0103 era a mea) dar goal\u0103, f\u0103r\u0103 ap\u0103, supt\u0103 chiar \u0219i la burt\u0103. Unde z\u0103cea sticla mea? Zb\u00e2rcit\u0103 \u0219i turtit\u0103 zbiera dintr-un ungher mai \u00eentunecat al b\u0103tr\u00e2nului meu col\u021bar. Futu-\u021bi sticla m\u0103-tii, unde-i apa? \u0218i m\u0103 iau de col\u021bar.<\/p>\n

P\u0103i, b\u0103 cretinule, b\u0103 bo\u0219orogule, nu te-am sp\u0103lat eu, nu te-am cur\u0103\u021bat eu de bale, de flegme \u0219i de alte lichide care au curs din bel\u0219ug din femeile frumoase cu care \u021bi-am \u00eenc\u00e2ntat textilele? Nu te-am m\u00e2ng\u00e2iat eu, nu te-am parfumat, nu te-am reparat ori de c\u00e2te ori \u021bi-ai str\u00e2mbat formele \u0219i fesele care, oricum, au fost dintotdeauna de c\u0103cat? Nu te-a lins Cezar p\u00e2n\u0103 la epuizare \u00eencerc\u00e2nd astfel s\u0103 te roage s\u0103 rezi\u0219ti? P\u0103i \u0219i atunci? De ce gura m\u0103-tii furi, de ce-mi ascunzi ba smartfonul, ba sticlele de ap\u0103, ba \u0219osetele, ba chilo\u021bii, ba brichetele pe care uneori am crezut c\u0103 le-am \u00eenghi\u021bit \u00een somn?<\/p>\n

\u0218i av\u00e2nd un dialog murdar cu col\u021barul m\u0103-sii, \u00eemi aduc aminte de mama \u0219i de tata. Stai, zic, dar mama \u0219i tata sunt oameni, nu obiecte, iar tata e mort de mult timp. \u00cen fine, hai s\u0103 fac o e\u0219cep\u021bie, c\u0103 dac\u0103 tot e pe recep\u021bie, mama, s\u0103 r\u0103spund. \u0218i r\u0103spund la telefon. Da, mam\u0103, sunt, m-am trezit, de mult timp, am avut en conversa\u021bii \u0219i diminea\u021b\u0103 a fost c\u00e2nd m-am trezit eu, chiar dac\u0103 pe feisbuc aveam statusul care indica c\u0103 nu sunt online, adic\u0103 nu-i, nu insista\u021bi! Da, mam\u0103, vrei s\u0103-mi aduci mere \u0219i h\u00e2rtie igienic\u0103 din pensia ta de rahat, oferit\u0103 ca \u0219i mit\u0103 electoral\u0103? Da, mam\u0103, nu-mi trebuie banane, dar dac\u0103 vrei tu neap\u0103rat po\u021bi s\u0103-mi aduci, dar s\u0103 fie trei, c\u0103 dou\u0103 vreau s\u0103 le dau la o blond\u0103, s\u0103 pape \u0219i gurile ei. Nu, mam\u0103, ai \u00een\u021beles gre\u0219it, la o singur\u0103 blond\u0103, pe una o m\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103 \u0219i pe una o… azv\u00e2rle \u00een ad\u00e2ncurile oceanului, cu v\u00e2rf \u0219i \u00eendesat, ca la emisiunea \u201dV\u00e2rf de aiziberg pierdut \u00een noaptea min\u021bii\u201d, cum, m\u0103i, mam\u0103, tu nu te ui\u021bi la emisiunea aia? Vai, vai! Da, mam\u0103, po\u021bi s\u0103-mi aduci \u0219i plicurile alea venite acum do\u0103jde ani de la pretenele mele virgine, da, virgine \u00eenainte s\u0103 apar\u0103 cristosul lu’ evreii m\u0103-sii care le-a f\u0103cut virgine c\u0103 ca s\u0103 m\u0103 chinui eu s\u0103 le descr\u0103c\u0103nez, adic\u0103 s\u0103-i scutesc pe al\u021bii de s\u00e2ngele odios al pizdii.<\/p>\n

\u0218i, fr\u0103tiuc, vorbind eu cu mama la telefon, telul meu tot zb\u00e2rn\u00e2ia. Cine pula mea nu \u00een\u021belege c\u0103 eu, ast\u0103zi, prin excep\u021bie, vorbesc cu mama mea natural\u0103, zic? Ce curu’ meu de obiect din via\u021ba mea vrea s\u0103 intre cu mine pe fir exact c\u00e2nd sunt \u00een tandre\u021buri cu mama?  \u00cenchid cu mama. Ce s\u0103 vezi? Tata, care e mort de 41 de ani, se v\u0103ic\u0103rea pe facebook, pe mesagerul meu, c\u0103 nu-l bag \u00een seam\u0103, c\u0103 \u00eei dau ignor, c\u0103 nu-l adaug la prieteni, c\u0103 discut mai mult cu mama \u0219i c\u0103 m\u0103 doar \u00een cur de el. Hei, stai, a\u0219ea, tat\u0103, c\u0103 nu-i a\u0219ea. P\u0103i tu muri\u0219i, te-ai dus \u0219i m-ai l\u0103sat s\u0103 fiu singurul b\u0103rbat din cas\u0103 fix la cinci ani de la na\u0219terea mea! P\u0103i ce facem aici? Acum, dac\u0103 ai v\u0103zut tu c\u0103 facebook a fost tr\u00e2ntit \u0219i \u00een varianta pentru rai \u0219i iad te-ai g\u00e2ndit s\u0103 te bagi cu mine \u00een seam\u0103? De ce nu mi-ai trimis semeseuri, prin care s\u0103 m\u0103 avertizezi, copile, vezi c\u0103 a\u021ba pulii nu se rupe, vezi c\u0103 dac\u0103 curge s\u00e2nge din pizda femeii nu \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 ai omor\u00e2t-o, vezi c\u0103 prima iubire nu se uit\u0103, vezi c\u0103 femeile nu pot fi \u00een\u021belese, vezi c\u0103 nu toate femeile e curve \u0219i vezi c\u0103 uneori \u0219i blondele sunt de\u0219tepte! Ha, ce pula mea vrei acum? Te-ai trezit tu acum s\u0103 m\u0103 disturbi? Sper c\u0103 nu \u00eencepi cu manele \u0219i cu mici de bulbucan prepara\u021bi special pentru iad \u0219i rai? \u0218i vezi c\u0103 nu ai poz\u0103 la profil, da?! \u0218i nici conexiunea ta nu-i prea securizat\u0103. Prin ce pula mea primi\u021bi voi internet, prin paste de pix goale? B\u0103, e\u0219ti prost? \u0218i nu te mai mira c\u0103 vorbesc ur\u00e2t, c\u0103 tu nu ai fost aici s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eenve\u021bi s\u0103 vorbesc frumos! \u0218i mai scute\u0219te-m\u0103, momentan, nu vezi c\u0103 vorbesc cu mama?<\/p>\n

\u0218i f\u0103c\u00e2ndu-se sear\u0103 m-am trezit din nou, de\u0219i toat\u0103 ziua am fost treaz \u0219i m-am conversat cu toat\u0103 lumea. Le-am \u00eenjurat pe \u021big\u0103ri. P\u0103l\u0103ria nu vroia s\u0103 spun\u0103 corect \u201dte bag \u00een pizda m\u0103-tii, ce p\u0103l\u0103ria mea\u201d. S-au r\u0103sturnat toate de pe biroul meu \u0219i eu le-am spus \u201dfutu-\u021bi gura m\u0103-tii\u201d. Set\u0103rile potrivite din camera foto parc\u0103 au luat-o razna, parc\u0103 au fost programate pentru dezm\u0103\u021b, prin urmare, o nou\u0103 serie de futu-\u021bi \u0219i b\u0103ga-mi-a\u0219.<\/p>\n

Azi a fost nebunie. Sau poate nu. Sau poate da. Sau dracu\u2019 mai \u0219tie ce-a fost. Nici nu \u0219tiu dac\u0103 eu am scris ceea ce cite\u0219ti. Cert este c\u0103 azi mi-am dat seama c\u0103 nu-i r\u0103u s\u0103 sim\u021bi c\u0103 ai luat-o razna, r\u0103u e s\u0103 crezi c\u0103 por\u021bi boto\u0219ei \u00een loc de bocanci, coaie \u00een loc de boa\u0219e, p\u0103s\u0103ric\u0103 \u00een loc de pizd\u0103, clitoris \u00een loc de pu\u021bulic\u0103.<\/p>\n

Gata, termin, ho! Ai spus vreodat\u0103 unei u\u0219i \u201ddeschide-te, \u00een mor\u021bii m\u0103-tii c\u0103 te sparg, s\u0103 moar\u0103 mama\u201d? Dup\u0103 ce faci asta s\u0103-mi scrii, vorba aia, \u201ddu-te s\u0103-mi scrii\u201d. Nu \u0219tiu dac\u0103 ast\u0103zi am fost eu sau dac\u0103 ai fost tu. Personajele pot fi \u00eenlocuite, c\u0103 doar \u0219i noi suntem at\u00e2t de diferi\u021bi dar at\u00e2t de asem\u0103n\u0103tori. Cu mici excep\u021bii, desigur.<\/p>\n

La final, mai spun asta, nu detesta obiectele din via\u021ba ta, dar nici nu le iubi ca un bezmetic. Ele nu te iubesc, nu te ador\u0103, nu te doresc. Obiectele din via\u021ba ta intr\u0103 \u00een via\u021ba ta cu japca, te \u00eencurc\u0103 de cele mai multe ori, \u00ee\u021bi fac via\u021ba mai murdar\u0103, te obosesc, \u00ee\u021bi leu\u0219tenesc neuronii, \u00ee\u021bi dau senza\u021bii false, te subjug\u0103 \u0219i te sug ca sugativa. Obiectele din via\u021ba ta trebuie, \u00een mod obligatoriu, s\u0103 stea aliniate la cheremul t\u0103u. Tu e\u0219ti, \u0219i trebuie \u00een mod obligatoriu s\u0103 fii, dictatorul lor. Nu obiectele te conduc pe tine, ci tu pe ele. Nu obiectele \u00ee\u021bi conduc st\u0103rile de spirit, tr\u0103irile, \u0219i nu obiectele \u00ee\u021bi dicteaz\u0103 momentele de fericire sau de bucurie. \u021ai-ai spart telefonul de 20 de milioane? A\u0219a, \u0219i? Tu ai vrut, tu ai decis, tu ai cump\u0103rat. Tu l-ai sc\u0103pat. Ai dat cu ma\u0219ina \u00een cineva? No problem. E\u0219ti viu? Tr\u0103ie\u0219ti, sunte\u021bi bine? Perfect, restul nu mai conteaz\u0103.<\/p>\n

Te-ai trezit diminea\u021b\u0103? Perfect, miroase, simte, vezi, experimenteaz\u0103 mai departe. Nu te opri.  Mai vorbim. Pa.<\/p>\n

P.S. Acest articol nu este un pamflet, nu vizeaz\u0103 pe nimeni, nu are preten\u021bii de mare capodoper\u0103, dar vulgar este, a\u0219a c\u0103 ai grij\u0103, dac\u0103 cite\u0219ti mai departe o faci pe r\u0103spunderea ta. Ah, ai ajuns la fini\u0219, l-ai citit deja? Ce s\u0103-\u021bi fac, eu te-am avertizat. Data viitoare cite\u0219te de la coad\u0103 la cap poate a\u0219a o s\u0103-\u021bi dai seama c\u0103 urmeaz\u0103 s\u0103 cite\u0219ti ceva mai altfel, cu bulin\u0103 ro\u0219ie – cum se zice. Din nou, pa.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Azi diminea\u021b\u0103 c\u00e2nd m-am trezit (21 mai 2017, ca s\u0103 nu zici c\u0103 adic\u0103 cum, cite\u0219ti articolul \u0103sta \u00een anul 2060 \u0219i Urie\u0219 e mort din 2050?) am avut o refela\u021bie stranie pe care am sim\u021bit c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 o prelungesc, s\u0103 n-o pierd imediat, c\u0103 e musai s\u0103 m\u0103 bag \u00een seam\u0103 cu ea […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9252,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[200],"tags":[231],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nAzi am vorbit cu obiectele, cu mama \u0219i cu tata. Tata e mort, dar are facebook - Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Azi m-am trezit vorbind cu obiectele, cu mama, cu tata - care-i mort, cu animalele \u0219i cu sticla de ap\u0103. Culmea a fost s\u0103 descop\u0103r c\u0103 tata are facebook.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/vorbit-obiectele-mama-tata-mort-facebook\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"ro_RO\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Azi am vorbit cu obiectele, cu mama \u0219i cu tata. Tata e mort, dar are facebook - Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Azi m-am trezit vorbind cu obiectele, cu mama, cu tata - care-i mort, cu animalele \u0219i cu sticla de ap\u0103. Culmea a fost s\u0103 descop\u0103r c\u0103 tata are facebook.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/vorbit-obiectele-mama-tata-mort-facebook\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/uries.traian\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-05-21T03:01:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2017-05-22T09:26:10+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/uriesblog.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/nebunie.png?fit=200%2C200&ssl=1\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Traian Urie\u015f\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Scris de\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Traian Urie\u015f\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Timp estimat pentru citire\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"13 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/vorbit-obiectele-mama-tata-mort-facebook\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/vorbit-obiectele-mama-tata-mort-facebook\/\",\"name\":\"Azi am vorbit cu obiectele, cu mama \u0219i cu tata. Tata e mort, dar are facebook - Blog\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2017-05-21T03:01:57+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2017-05-22T09:26:10+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/#\/schema\/person\/1f1e504cc9d92f6fea4f35ebe963b061\"},\"description\":\"Azi m-am trezit vorbind cu obiectele, cu mama, cu tata - care-i mort, cu animalele \u0219i cu sticla de ap\u0103. Culmea a fost s\u0103 descop\u0103r c\u0103 tata are facebook.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/vorbit-obiectele-mama-tata-mort-facebook\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"ro-RO\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/vorbit-obiectele-mama-tata-mort-facebook\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/vorbit-obiectele-mama-tata-mort-facebook\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Prima pagin\u0103\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Azi am vorbit cu obiectele, cu mama \u0219i cu tata. Tata e mort, dar are facebook\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/\",\"name\":\"Blog\",\"description\":\"Blog despre ce \u015fi cum, cu de toate\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"ro-RO\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/#\/schema\/person\/1f1e504cc9d92f6fea4f35ebe963b061\",\"name\":\"Traian Urie\u015f\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"ro-RO\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/12463c0eb3004f8d3ed29347ea8cdcb9?s=96&d=wavatar&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/12463c0eb3004f8d3ed29347ea8cdcb9?s=96&d=wavatar&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Traian Urie\u015f\"},\"description\":\"Blogger, web designer, fotograf. Pasionat de fotografie, filme, calculatoare. C\u0103l\u0103toresc c\u00e2t de mult pot. Scriu \u015fi citesc cu pl\u0103cere. Cea mai citit\u0103 revist\u0103: PhotoMagazine. Cel mai vizionat film: Gladiator (2000). Fotograful preferat: Andrzej Dragan. A\u015ftept\u0103ri de la via\u0163\u0103: n-am, prefer s\u0103 m\u0103 a\u015ftepte ea.\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/www.uriesblog.ro\",\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/uries.traian\",\"https:\/\/instagram.com\/traian.uries\/\",\"https:\/\/ro.pinterest.com\/traianuries\/\",\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/@TraianUries\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/author\/naiart\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Azi am vorbit cu obiectele, cu mama \u0219i cu tata. Tata e mort, dar are facebook - Blog","description":"Azi m-am trezit vorbind cu obiectele, cu mama, cu tata - care-i mort, cu animalele \u0219i cu sticla de ap\u0103. Culmea a fost s\u0103 descop\u0103r c\u0103 tata are facebook.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/vorbit-obiectele-mama-tata-mort-facebook\/","og_locale":"ro_RO","og_type":"article","og_title":"Azi am vorbit cu obiectele, cu mama \u0219i cu tata. Tata e mort, dar are facebook - Blog","og_description":"Azi m-am trezit vorbind cu obiectele, cu mama, cu tata - care-i mort, cu animalele \u0219i cu sticla de ap\u0103. Culmea a fost s\u0103 descop\u0103r c\u0103 tata are facebook.","og_url":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/vorbit-obiectele-mama-tata-mort-facebook\/","og_site_name":"Blog","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/uries.traian","article_published_time":"2017-05-21T03:01:57+00:00","article_modified_time":"2017-05-22T09:26:10+00:00","og_image":[{"width":200,"height":200,"url":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/uriesblog.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/nebunie.png?fit=200%2C200&ssl=1","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"Traian Urie\u015f","twitter_misc":{"Scris de":"Traian Urie\u015f","Timp estimat pentru citire":"13 minute"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/vorbit-obiectele-mama-tata-mort-facebook\/","url":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/vorbit-obiectele-mama-tata-mort-facebook\/","name":"Azi am vorbit cu obiectele, cu mama \u0219i cu tata. Tata e mort, dar are facebook - Blog","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/#website"},"datePublished":"2017-05-21T03:01:57+00:00","dateModified":"2017-05-22T09:26:10+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/#\/schema\/person\/1f1e504cc9d92f6fea4f35ebe963b061"},"description":"Azi m-am trezit vorbind cu obiectele, cu mama, cu tata - care-i mort, cu animalele \u0219i cu sticla de ap\u0103. Culmea a fost s\u0103 descop\u0103r c\u0103 tata are facebook.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/vorbit-obiectele-mama-tata-mort-facebook\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"ro-RO","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/vorbit-obiectele-mama-tata-mort-facebook\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/vorbit-obiectele-mama-tata-mort-facebook\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Prima pagin\u0103","item":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Azi am vorbit cu obiectele, cu mama \u0219i cu tata. Tata e mort, dar are facebook"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/#website","url":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/","name":"Blog","description":"Blog despre ce \u015fi cum, cu de toate","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"ro-RO"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/#\/schema\/person\/1f1e504cc9d92f6fea4f35ebe963b061","name":"Traian Urie\u015f","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"ro-RO","@id":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/12463c0eb3004f8d3ed29347ea8cdcb9?s=96&d=wavatar&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/12463c0eb3004f8d3ed29347ea8cdcb9?s=96&d=wavatar&r=g","caption":"Traian Urie\u015f"},"description":"Blogger, web designer, fotograf. Pasionat de fotografie, filme, calculatoare. C\u0103l\u0103toresc c\u00e2t de mult pot. Scriu \u015fi citesc cu pl\u0103cere. Cea mai citit\u0103 revist\u0103: PhotoMagazine. Cel mai vizionat film: Gladiator (2000). Fotograful preferat: Andrzej Dragan. A\u015ftept\u0103ri de la via\u0163\u0103: n-am, prefer s\u0103 m\u0103 a\u015ftepte ea.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.uriesblog.ro","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/uries.traian","https:\/\/instagram.com\/traian.uries\/","https:\/\/ro.pinterest.com\/traianuries\/","https:\/\/twitter.com\/@TraianUries"],"url":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/author\/naiart\/"}]}},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/nebunie.png","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p39Ong-2p8","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":11069,"url":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/m-am-dus-la-somaj-sa-ma-fac-neindemnizat-si-aia-nu-putea-sa-suga-pula-am-ajutat-o-eu\/","url_meta":{"origin":9246,"position":0},"title":"M-am dus la \u0219omaj. S\u0103 m\u0103 fac neindemnizat. \u0218i aia nu putea s\u0103 sug\u0103 pula. Am ajutat-o eu.","author":"Traian Urie\u015f","date":"6 decembrie 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Nu-\u021bi trebuie trei coaie ca s\u0103-\u021bi dai seama c\u0103 sistemul informatic din Rom\u00e2nia e de c\u0103cat. Dar dac\u0103 ai dou\u0103 coaie, coaie - fr\u0103tiuc, po\u021bi s\u0103 te consideri b\u0103rbat. Cumva. Bine, \u0219tiu, acum, toate femeile care m\u0103 cunosc \u0219i care citesc ceea ce scriu acum, vor spune c\u0103 eu nu\u2026","rel":"","context":"\u00cen \u201eCurca-n lemne\u201d","block_context":{"text":"Curca-n lemne","link":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/category\/curca-n-lemne\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/somaj.png","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":11794,"url":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/mno-manipulam-manipula-ti-as-arhanghelii-ca-si-varsa-astia-tat-naduful-pa-porci-gaini-pa-tot-ce-misca-prin-ograzi-ca-vine-craciuniul-manca-ti-as-magiunul-si-soricii-articol-misto-la-misto-p\/","url_meta":{"origin":9246,"position":1},"title":"Mno, manipul\u0103m, manipula-\u021bi-a\u0219 arhanghelii, c\u0103-\u0219i vars\u0103 \u0103\u0219tia t\u0103t n\u0103duful, p\u0103 porci, g\u0103ini, p\u0103 tot ce mi\u0219c\u0103 prin ogr\u0103zi, c\u0103 vine Cr\u0103ciuniul, m\u00e2nca-\u021bi-a\u0219 magiunul \u0219i \u0219oricii (articol mi\u0219to, la mi\u0219to, p\u0103 rom\u00e2ne\u0219te)","author":"Traian Urie\u015f","date":"27 noiembrie 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"C\u00e2nta o mierl\u0103 (\u0219i mierlele astea, alt\u0103 treab\u0103 n-au) \u0219i unul s\u0103 n\u0103duflea, sclerozat de la n\u0103dufleal\u0103, p\u0103 altul, m\u00e2nca-l-ar m\u0103-sa t\u0103t, m\u0103m\u0103liga terci \u00eenc\u0103lzi-l-ar s\u0103-l \u00eenc\u0103lzeasc\u0103, iernile toate s\u0103-l r\u0103ceasc\u0103, prin Alaska! Cest\u0103lalt, \u00eenc\u0103lzi-l-ar efectul de ser\u0103 al p\u0103m\u00e2ntului, aproape c\u0103 \u0219i el. Adic\u0103, adic\u0103telea, bre, nervi pe asfalt\u2026","rel":"","context":"\u00cen \u201eCurca-n lemne\u201d","block_context":{"text":"Curca-n lemne","link":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/category\/curca-n-lemne\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/caricature.png","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12028,"url":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/cum-sa-faci-facultatea-de-litere-in-25-de-minute-tutorial-cu-si-despre-litere-cu-facultati-mintale-aproape-intregi\/","url_meta":{"origin":9246,"position":2},"title":"Cum s\u0103 faci facultatea de litere \u00een 25 de minute? Tutorial cu \u0219i despre litere cu facult\u0103\u021bi mintale aproape \u00eentregi","author":"Traian Urie\u015f","date":"22 martie 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Se laud\u0103 unii \u00een fa\u021ba blocului, la spa, p\u0103 balt\u0103 la crap, pe pietonalele patriei, la Lidl sau la nonstopul \u00eenchis dup\u0103 ora 22, cu facult\u0103\u021bi de antropologie, stomatologie, astrouretreontologie, cibernetic\u0103 \u0219i limbi aspre \u0219i sofisticate? Nu te mai stresa, fr\u0103tiuc. Sor\u0103. Calmisimo c\u0103 faci pistrui cu ciucuri. Prostia uneori\u2026","rel":"","context":"\u00cen \u201eCretinoriale\u201d","block_context":{"text":"Cretinoriale","link":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/category\/cretinoriale\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/facultate_litere.jpg","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12099,"url":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/florin-calinescu-e-atat-de-mort-de-se-caca-pe-el-de-frig-pe-dunare\/","url_meta":{"origin":9246,"position":3},"title":"Florin C\u0103linescu e at\u00e2t de mort de se cac\u0103 pe el de frig pe Dun\u0103re","author":"Traian Urie\u015f","date":"3 aprilie 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"B\u0103i-b\u0103iatule, zic, cum m\u0103 s\u0103 fie mort Florin C\u0103linescu? Zvonacii au r\u0103sp\u00e2ndit asta ca pe o molim\u0103 pe online. Io, m\u0103, zic, p\u0103i cum? Io de ce nu \u0219tiu? Caut. Nimic. Doar c\u0103caturi d-ale unor ziari\u0219ti cretini care scriu cu auzitul \u0219i cu pixul \u021binut invers. Caut, mai caut. Nimic.\u2026","rel":"","context":"\u00cen \u201eCretinoriale\u201d","block_context":{"text":"Cretinoriale","link":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/category\/cretinoriale\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/Florin_Calinescu.png","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":7931,"url":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/cum-ajuns-sa-fim-frati-chiar-si-cu-mamele-noastre\/","url_meta":{"origin":9246,"position":4},"title":"Cum am ajuns s\u0103 fim fra\u021bi chiar \u0219i cu mamele noastre?","author":"Traian Urie\u015f","date":"26 aprilie 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Tr\u0103iesc o stare de exaltare pe care nu am mai sim\u021bit-o niciodat\u0103. M\u0103 opresc din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd pe strad\u0103, \u00eemi repet \u00een g\u00e2nd expresia am tr\u0103it s-o v\u0103d \u0219i pe asta, \u0219i, cu un r\u00e2njet t\u00e2mp pe fa\u021b\u0103, plec mai departe. Ai observat \u0219i tu c\u0103 to\u021bi rom\u00e2nii au\u2026","rel":"","context":"\u00cen \u201eSocietate\u201d","block_context":{"text":"Societate","link":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/category\/societate\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/copiii.png","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12256,"url":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/bai-fato-tu-chiar-esti-imbecila-ana-morodan\/","url_meta":{"origin":9246,"position":5},"title":"B\u0103i, fato, tu chiar e\u0219ti imbecil\u0103, Ana Morodan?","author":"Traian Urie\u015f","date":"20 mai 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Mno, An\u0103, \u0103sta-i roastul t\u0103u. Cu pit\u0103, s\u0103 iei, fat\u0103, ardelene\u0219te, s\u0103 nu-\u021bi fie grea\u021b\u0103, Pietreanu \u0219i de tine r\u00e2dea. Fix la aiumor. Ana Morodan, am zis c\u0103 nu puteam s\u0103 nu \u021bi-o zic, c\u0103 tu chiar e\u0219ti imbecil\u0103. \u0218i chiar nu te \u00eembraci mi\u0219to, dac\u0103 te-or \u00eembr\u0103cat al\u021bii \u00eenseamn\u0103\u2026","rel":"","context":"\u00cen \u201eCurca-n lemne\u201d","block_context":{"text":"Curca-n lemne","link":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/category\/curca-n-lemne\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Anca_Morodan.png","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9246"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9246"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9246\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9252"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9246"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9246"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/uriesblog.ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9246"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}